Great Leaders Are Empathetic - Mental Health in the Time of Covid pt.2

As part two of my series on mental health in the time of Covid-19, I wanted to take a look at the role empathy plays in dealing with chaos or trauma. I’ve been trying to share “feel good” stories with the Self-Made Nation, this one caught my eye! As the need for mental health professionals has grown over these past months, so too has empathy.

In fact, Kids Help Phone saw not only a jump in COVID-19-related calls from children and young people, they experienced a surge in the number of adults reaching out for support also.

To help with the overload, they started texting service specifically for adults, and sought volunteers to help – more than 8,000 people responded - volunteers who, “…after screening and training, could provide desperately needed support from their homes in this time of physical distancing.”

According to Dr. Anita DeLongis, a psychologist and professor at the Centre for Health and Coping Studies at the University of British Columbia, this is known as "empathic response " — and this “giving back,” helping behaviour has helped people in the past preserve their own mental health during mass crises. "This is a moment in time when our empathy is really important," said DeLongis, who studied how people reacted psychologically and socially during SARS, West Nile Virus and H1NI, among other epidemics.

Rob Hill keeps a small picture on his desk, which helps keep him empathetic, and has helped him through this chaotic time as he’s trying to both keep his business afloat and NOT get mired down in the emotional side of things. Personally, I love this idea so much! “I keep a little picture on my desk from our last Christmas Party, it's all my employees, and it's all their spouses and their kids. And it's something that I look at [daily]. So when I'm on the phone, and I'm doing my thing and making decisions, I always have that in the back of my mind, I have to keep all those people in mind with every decision that I make, every word that comes into my mouth, it all has to go back to keeping them taken care of.”

When Does Regular Stress Become ‘I Should Seek Help’?

There have always been successful people who have been spiraling, not wanting to recognize or admit they’re spiraling – who leave behind the wreckage of a failed business, failed health, a failed relationship or family life, or all of the above.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. As I mentioned in part one – asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. But how can we know when it’s “time” – when you’re balancing on the edge of that metaphorical cliff?

Obviously if you’re feeling like your life is no longer worth living, there’s no future, or you’re feeling outright suicidal, don’t wait, seek help. But other “symptoms” can often be more subtle. We all have a nightcap or two, amiright? But what if that becomes a nightcap or ten? Play the lotto every once and awhile? But what if you’re hitting the casino night after night hoping for that big win to save you economically?

I went to Dr. Thomas Minde for his thoughts on that question, “Try to remember that there is support there, such as a therapist. Or go to the emergency room [if suicidal]. And then the maybe less terrible versions, when one feels overwhelmed and isn't coping, using very poor coping mechanisms like a lot of drugs or alcohol, and it's affecting your life, then please realize there are better ways to manage stress. And then sometimes it's just things that don't get better. If we have the odd [bad] day, we can get by it. But if it's happening every single week, or especially every two days, or maybe it's lasting for two weeks, then you can't do that by yourself. You're going to need some help and support. More than friends or family. 

And Finally…

No one chooses to experience trauma. But, as we all know, life can throw some curveballs at us. Please, like the old “oxygen mask” adage, “If the oxygen masks fall out, put YOURS on first, and then your child.” Look after yourself first. And you’ll have the energy and drive to look after others.

To end, I’ll leave you with this great list of ways you can help build resilience during this pandemic, and also in chaotic and unpredictable times in general.

Stay connected with people.

• Exercise when you can.
• Practise mindfulness – don’t look forward or back too much. One foot in front of the other.
• If you have the energy, learn something new or tackle that book you’ve been wanting to read.
• Be kind and give back in some way.
• Routines, routines, routines.
• Don’t consume too much negative news.
• Search for the good news stories – like the ones I shared above!

I would also LOVE to share YOUR story. If you’re interested, drop me a line.