Say hello to Fotini Iconomopoulos.

She is the author of “Say Less. Get More.” - Unconventional Negotiation Techniques to Get What You Want.

Fotini is a natural negotiator. And she recently chatted with me to share a piece of that skill and knowledge.

Her journey as a negotiator began as a child further crafting her expertise through study and experience.

“I watched my parents negotiate in my culture on a regular basis. So when I went to the work environment, it was natural for me to negotiate my first salary. Then I went to grad school and I studied organization behavior, because I knew people are going to be the common denominator for me. I understand the behavioral parts of the business world.”

Why enjoyment is the key distinction in work

Being on your own, while hard, brings ‘favourites’.

For Fotini, the favorite part about being your own boss comes down to enjoyment and fun. Both of which she’s found and nurtured in the art of negotiation.

“I really had a love-hate relationship with the idea of being your own boss. I ran away from it after growing up in a household that had our own businesses. And now when clients want to work with me on negotiation, I think to myself ‘Oh, this is fun!’”

Fotini talks of the journey of reframing “I am a workaholic”, and struggling to find balance by focusing on something is so enjoyable for her that she treats it like a hobby.

The key distinction here is enjoyment.

Are we tapping into what we enjoy, Self Made Nation?

“My evenings are spent with MBA students; talking to them about closing the gender gap before it starts. I like to write articles on these things. I do social media and TikTok videos now on the subject of negotiation because I find that fun. It's bizarre, but it's how I feel because I'm in control of how I work, work is not controlling me.”

The first tip from a master negotiator like Fotini: get your head in the game

Fotini’s book provides some very straight forward tactical and strategic pieces, and one of the first of them is the need for many of us work on our mindset. Much as we can be prepared with all of the little pieces, we do have to believe in the process and know that we are ready for it, Fotini says.

“I tell a story in the book, of a client that I was working with that called me in to help them through a very long-term, high-stakes negotiation. And they gave me all of these PowerPoint decks to go through and tons of data to get me up to speed. At first everything seemed great, and I wondered what was amiss. Having conversations with folks, I realized it was because they were acting as though the other party had all the power. If that's the mindset you're portraying (even inadvertently), no matter what skills and training I can give you, it's going to be really difficult.”

Remember the following when doubt creeps in, Fotini suggests:

• Ask yourself why the party is talking to you. Come up with a list.
• Articulate the core difference - they could go to many other people - why do you think it’s you?
• That focused difference is what becomes the foundation for the leverage and potential camaraderie you’re going to build with the people you are negotiating with.

Advice for when you’re working with someone that appears to have more power and leverage than you

Fotini uses the analogy of, of a phone battery to explain the concept of power and leverage. We’ve all got a phone. You can charge it, you can drain it, and your power is great. But if you never turn it on, you may have a full battery, and it’s no use because you’re not using that power. Conversely, if you use too much of it, you might run out before you're done with the task at hand. So it's understanding power and how to use it, says Fotini. It’s also about understanding how to charge your battery, and how to make sure the other party knows you have a charged battery.

Fun, frank advice from Fotini Iconomopoulos 

“The number one piece of advice I'm often giving people is to shut up and don’t talk yourself out of a deal. Take the time to literally say less. Think it through things before you open your mouth.”

If you’d like to listen to the full episode with Fotini, on my podcast, you can find it here: https://iamamillionairesonowwhat.libsyn.com/ep218-dont-talk-yourself-out-of-a-deal