Really… can we talk for a minute?
Today is Bell Let’s Talk Day – a corporate initiative that applies the clout and reach of Bell Canada to erasing the stigma of mental illness and improving access to care.
Can we talk about how many Canadians are dealing, in some way, with mental health issues?
You know my story -- I lost a brother to suicide in 2004. He was 24 years old. I’ve written about him a bunch of times (like in this blog post, Family, Fiddles and Flashbacks). From my lay-person perspective, mental unwellness and illness often surface at the complicated cross-section of DNA and life circumstances. Which means it can touch anyone, anywhere, anytime. I often find myself engaged in conversations about mental health and mental illness – it comes up with clients, business colleagues, business leaders, podcast guests and friends… Everyone has a story of some kind.
On yesterday’s episode of I’m a Millionaire! So Now What? I spoke with Tonia Jahshan, Founder of Sipology by Steeped Tea. Tonia speaks openly about her experience with depression and burn out. Well, she does now.
“I ended up in hospital for five weeks, at Homewood in Guelph (in 2018). It wasn’t until August of last year that I decided to come out with the story. We partnered with Kids Help Phone and Crisis Text Line and I knew that if we were going to work with two companies that are very mental health-driven, that I had to come out with my story too. I will be honest. There were people telling me not to do it. And I had to tell them, I’m going to because I know that I’m going to help other people... And what happened after that August announcement is my tribe rallied around me even stronger, even bigger, and I have made such an impact. This company has made such an impact in the mental health world, and it’s only going to get better because I talk about it all the time.”
Can we talk about how powerful it is to share our stories?
To be honest, the most challenging group of people to have truly open discussions with might be your own family. That’s true for many of us. But if you can’t talk to family, open up to others. You’d be surprised how many people are willing and eager to talk.
Can we talk about stats, and research and funding?
Over a year ago, in this post, I noted that mental unwellness does not discriminate based on socio-economic background, race or gender. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth 15 to 24.
Mortality rates for almost all other major diseases, even cancer and heart disease, have declined dramatically, while mortality rates from suicide stay the same. Research makes a difference. Mental illness remains under-studied and not fully-understood by our medical system. I want it to get better, I think it is getting better; in my “spare time” I do my bit to reduce stigma, increase awareness and support fundraising for mental health research -- at the Royal Ottawa Foundation for Mental Health, as a volunteer on the Royal Ottawa Foundation for Mental Health Board and as a founding member of the Women for Mental Health.
Can we talk about how it takes work – intentional work – to maintain good mental health, regardless of your DNA or Life Circumstances?
I keep my mental health in check with a daily practice that has evolved over years. Today, it means at least 6 hours sleep at night. Plus exercise: yoga, strength training and running. Journaling. Working with a coach. Surrounding myself with a tribe of like-minded friends and other business owners. The practice of forgiveness has played a huge role in grounding me. Most importantly, forgiving myself.
Can we talk about the dangers of Lonely Leadership Syndrome?
CEOs, Founders, Entrepreneurs – you are moving at light speed pumping out productivity. Leadership can be a lonely place. And the ups and downs of business ownership only add to the stress. I know that when you’re leading the company you don’t want show any signs of ‘weakness’. It’s tough to admit, address, defend, explain an invisible illness - of any kind.
Feeling isolated, cut-off, even misunderstood – those are real problems for entrepreneurs. Late last year in my conversation with Elizabeth Kilvert, owner of The Unrefined Olive and public-servant-turned-entrepreneur, we talked about the tunnel vision that business owners fall victim to, especially when there’s SO much to know and do:
“One of the things that entrepreneurs sometimes suffer from is isolation, and I don't think that's good for your mental health. Get out of your gopher-hole, walk out of the door of your store and walk into your neighbour store. Have networks of folks around you, belong to the networks that resonate with you. Find the people you can sit down and be comfortable with. Because if you isolate yourself, that's not good as a human being nor as a business owner.”
This week, please make a special effort to get out and talk to people. Talk to people you know, and people you’ve never met. Let them talk. You talk too.
One of the things I rely on to stave off Lonely Leader Syndrome and sustain my health is regularly checking in with a group of leaders, business owners and entrepreneurs who get me. Really get me. We support each other, with no hidden agendas, no ill will, no envy or jealousy or comparison. We talk about everything. We only want to see each other do well.
That’s exactly the safety, freedom and support I’m designing into this spring’s Double to Sell workshop. I’m collecting (‘curating’ if you’re not sick of that word) a like-minded group of 30 pre-screened CEO Business Owners who are all thinking about the same problem/opportunity – succession – and how to engineer a cash rich exit. Find out more about Double to Sell and how we plan to support you in getting the value you want from the sale of your business. We’ll have LOTS to talk about!