Essential Family Conversations: Aging

September 26, 2018 | Colleen O’ Connell-Campbell


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Aging is a particularly hard topic to talk about – as parents with our kids, and as kids with our parents. Many of us won’t have the conversation until we’re forced to. I chose to bring it up at breakfast one day...

My mom died when I was 19. So it makes sense that my relationship with my dad is especially strong, we’re especially close. He’s an important mentor and has had a significant influence on my life. We used to spend a lot of time together, even as adults. Like when we were both on the Almonte Celtfest Committee – he as a founder and me as a worker bee (1997 to 2006). After we resigned from the active committee, I didn’t see him as much. Life gets busy. I was running a business, tied up with family, caring for clients and raising my boys. I really missed our regular visits and I believe he did too. I know I’m one of his confidants.

A couple of summers ago I invited my dad on a breakfast date – just the two of us. I had something on my mind and I needed his full attention. My dad is a stoic and private man…

This post may surprise him. It’s important to me that you hear this story, because managing the transitions that come with aging is something we will ALL face. It’s why I’m hosting an upcoming event on a special topic, with a special guest speaker… but, back to breakfast…

I sat down with my dear old dad over breakfast at The Thruway in Carleton Place. My dad, who had managed so well for so long on his own, had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

Over anything else I would have chosen to talk about life, work, his grandkids, his hobbies. But I knew it was time for us to have a conversation about his wishes. Parkinson’s is a degenerating illness. I wanted to get the man of few words talking. I wanted to know what was important to him. I knew he would need to share his wishes with my three sisters as well – we would all need to know what he wanted, especially in the case that his illness took over.

My dad wants to be as independent as possible for as long as possible. We are going to do everything we can to help him do that.

It’s crucial to have conversations with your significant others, family and close friends who care about and love you, so they can support you. It is crucial to work with professionals who also care about and support you.

And so – the event.

I’ve invited Jennifer Moir, Founder and Owner of Ottawa-based Age Well Solutions (www.agewellsolutions.ca). Jennifer is an Eldercare Planning Counselor, Dementia-Friendly Professional, Certified Health Specialist and Certified Relocation and Transition specialist. 

With more than 23 years direct experience in the eldercare industry, Jennifer and her dedicated team offer professional accommodation search, care navigation and counselling services to aging adults and their children. They also deliver highly specialized, dementia-friendly training to financial service professionals. 

I’m eager to hear Jennifer’s guidance and practical solutions on many of the challenges and questions facing older adults and their families today. I know many of us out there have the same questions, the same concerns. So it’s an open, free event:

Life Transitions that Come With Aging – practical tips and strategies

Ottawa West End with ample free accessible parking

We’ll give you the precise location when you RSVP 

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

7 pm to 8:30 pm

  • What do you want?
  • What do your parents want?
  • What does your spouse/significant other want?
  • Do you know what your options are? 
  • How will you handle downsizing a home that’s been lived in for 30 + years?
  • Is it easier to make multiple small moves proactively or wait until it’s time to move and assess what you need?
  • What happens when one person needs extensive care and the other is healthy and wants to stay in the family home?

This session is about starting conversations. There will be no sales pitch. We invite you to use it as springboard for discussions. And encourage you to meet with us afterwards to consider the financial implications and / or to implement a program to prepare for these sorts of eventualities. 

Please join us for this free discussion on Life Transitions that Come With Aging. You can REGISTER HERE, and we’ll send you all the details. These are the conversations that we all need to have – over breakfast, over tea, on the golf course, wherever you’re comfortable and as soon as you can.