“..But sometimes you have to step up.” These are the words of Sherry Turkle, from her recent memoir, The Empathy Diaries.

Ms. Turkle is a woman with a remarkable and inspiring career, a clinical psychologist, and a thinker about the ethics of technology and online life.

Born in Brooklyn on June 18, 1948, she graduated valedictorian from Abraham Lincoln High School in 1965. She studied at Radcliffe College, graduating in 1969 with a bachelor’s degree in Social Studies. She obtained a Masters in Sociology and a doctorate in Sociology and Personality Psychology, both from Harvard University and in 1976 joined MIT as an Assistant Professor.

By no means a lightweight, she still faced unbelievable obstacles in 1983 when her department at Michigan Institute of Technology (MIT) was considering her for tenure.

Given tomorrow is International Women’s Day (IWD), I wanted to share her story. This year’s IWD’s theme is #BreaktheBias – and encouraging us all to “Strike the IWD #BreakTheBias Pose”. Frankly, I believe #BeADifficultWoman is a far more worthy theme.

Turkle’s not being a mathematician gave rise to MIT’s skepticism about the rigor of her own work. Initially denied tenure, she protested and won it on appeal.

It’s Hard to Be a Difficult Woman

“There were few women at MIT and none other than me in my department. My all-male department colleagues were cordial, but barely spoke to me outside of faculty meetings. They, on the other hand, played squash together. They went out to lunch and drinks together.”

While her tenure case was on the line, a colleague who had just read the manuscript of her soon-to-be-published book walked into her office and said, “I had no idea. Your work is wonderful. I don’t know anything like it. I just had no idea.”

In their many years working together, this man had never hit on her or belittled her. He had nothing against her. She was just invisible to him. Turkle admits that she didn’t like working in a community that didn’t want her, but she chose to stay on because MIT nurtured her intellectually - she wanted her job and thought she deserved to have it.

Don’t Underestimate the Price of a Fight

Turkle wrote that even though she had won, her situation confirmed her as an outsider. She was not admired for her defiance. Women who are dispensed with and come back to make trouble are not likable, even when they win on their own merits. That was 1983. Sadly, in today’s world, her story still isn’t unusual. The world hasn’t changed all that much for women, let alone Difficult Women.

A new study, published just last week in Harvard Business Review torpedoes the idea that simply adding women into a workplace changes the organizational structures and systems that benefit men more than women. It does nothing to eliminate the kind of bias that holds female workers back.
The researchers looked at four industries with more female than male workers: law, higher education, faith-based nonprofits, and health care. They asked women in these fields about their experience with bias, ranging from the “subtle (such as lack of acknowledgment) to overt (such as workplace harassment).”  Even though women were the majority in these industries, the results showed they still experienced a multitude of biases.

One example highlighted by the study was constrained communication, in which women had to be mindful when expressing authority and downplay their accomplishments. They reported lack of acknowledgement for their contributions and being interrupted by men when speaking.

Even when women were well represented, their workplace often still had a boys’ club mentality where decisions were made mostly by men. They often lacked mentors and sponsors.

For the last few years, I’ve approached, with increased skepticism, the effectiveness of IWD, when each year, the World Economic Forum estimates it’ll take 268 years to close the economic gender gap. Just for the record, we are moving backward on this goal.

Recently, CBS Sunday Morning showcased 85-year-old Shirley Woodson, being celebrated in her first one-woman show at her hometown museum, the Detroit Institute of Arts.

Throughout her career, her work was selling, was acquired by museums, and won numerous local and national awards, yet the recognition she deserved came at a snail’s pace.

As the episode was coming to an end, the journalist said, "On the one hand, it's so great that you have a solo exhibition at what is maybe the most prestigious art gallery in Detroit. On the other hand, what took them so long?"

“Well, they're not the only ones," Woodson laughed. "It's about survival. It's about keeping those goals that you have in play, and proceeding, moving forward."

On the eve of International Women’s Day, it's Woodson’s words that make me wonder if that’s really all we can do. Just be diligent. Keep our nose to the grindstone and hope to be recognized based on one’s merit?? With all due respect to Ms. Woodson, I think we have to fight and fight hard to gain the recognition we deserve. That is why we all need to be committed to being “Difficult Women.”

“It actually doesn’t take much to be considered a difficult woman. That’s why there are so many of us.”

Jane Goodall